阿爸的雙手 Father’s Hands

[李秀]

台英雙語散文

若有老父出現，啥物代誌攏是順事佮安全。我會記得有一工是我生命中的災難，彼日我佇後埕家己蹉跎。拼出規身軀的氣力，終其尾予我peh起li桌仔頂。當等我耍甲誠心適的時陣，雄雄一隻足大隻的鵝仔，頷頸長甲若蛇，一支尖嘴開甲大大大，ko----ko----向我嘮來，我着驚甲嗎嗎吼。這隻兇戒戒的鵝媽媽，並無因為我的哭聲來定著，煞顛倒愈雄勢，頷頸仔伸甲長長，位圓桌仔墘踅呀踅，直直綴著我。我假若苦命的囝兒淒慘落魄，佮伊走相掠。

親像跋落去坑崁仝款，孤單一人佮烏暗決鬥。當等這隻猙牲欲啄我幼嫩的皮肉時，雄雄一雙強閣有力的大手骨，將我抱起來，我拼死命掠牢這支光明閣安全的救命柱一直吼…一直吼…

「乖！毋通哭矣，彼隻猙牲予阿爸趕走矣，明仔載共伊刣來食。」

彼一暗，我燒甲得欲40度。記智當中，猶原是彼雙粗勇的大手，共我抱起抱落，到「先生媽」遐收驚，嘛攏無啥效。囥踮眠床頂，我就拼死命哭，獨獨躺佇彼雙手股頂，我才睏會落眠。這場重病，就佇阿爸的雙手內底，才沓沓仔好起來。彼年我五歲。

厝裡的一點一滴，攏是靠阿爸的雙手來成長、勇壯。遮个點點滴滴，已經成做生活的一部份，親像當該然仝款。若是無這雙手，阮就像火車敗輦、跤步走精、一切的一切毋知欲按怎。

我七歲的時有一工，彼暗是阿爸當值的暗暝，阿母叫阮飯食飽、身軀洗好，就較早去睏的，橫直無電火，嘛無法度寫功課，阿母番咐大兄共門窗閂予好勢，講阿爸無佇厝逐家愛較謹慎小心的。阿爸無佇咧，阮親像減一支大柱，規間厝隨時假若會搖起來仝款。

逐家睏甲當落眠，被一陣亂操操的聲音吵精神，我睇開矇霧的目睭，眼前一片烏暗。位阿母攬阮佮伊緊張的聲調，阮感覺著有啥物歹空的代誌欲發生矣，藉著位窗仔門射入來的月光，阮看著頭前門的門閂，綴外口的碰！碰！起起落落咧搖動。

逐家即時間攏韾騖去，驚驚惶惶攪作一堆，親像恐怖小說的主角，煩惱歹人隨時會衝入來，阿母位後門溜出去，大概是欲向厝邊討救兵的款。

門閂被激烈的舂，連鞭有崩落的可能。若毋是阿爸特別佇頂下加兩閂，恐驚早就離離落落冗去囉。

阿母出去足久足久，阮兄妹仔絚絚攬作一丸。動嘛毋敢動，哼嘛毋敢哼，親像千萬尾蛇鑽入心肝窟仔。

撞擊的聲雄雄恬去，續落是一袸親像爆鼓筷走遠去的跤步聲，然後看阿母沓沓仔唯門邊仔行入來，面色白損損，嘴唇一直掣：「歹…人…夆…掠…去…矣。」

歸家口仔真無簡單等到透早，阿爸轉來矣。

阿爸佇咧，厝裡加真安穩，阿母嘛較輕鬆。阿爸透暝共門加裝幾仔組門閂。阿爸的雙手，就是阮的保障，無論佇有形的、抑是無形的，攏予阮這種感覺。

一家口仔七个人，位稅厝徛佇三塊厝，到有厝通稅人佇文化路，彼段困苦的歲月，就是靠阿爸穩當的掌舵，閣参阿母的認真拍拼，才會當將這個厝，穩篤篤駛到安全四序的所在。

當等會使喘一下仔氣，享一下仔清福的時陣，阿母煞來過身。雖然兄哥in攏成家立業，但是對我，阿爸真正愛加費一寡心思來開導。尤其失去阿母的歹情緒，誠實無法度通忍受。伊不但愛將失去家後的悲痛收起來，閣愛特別照顧這个寶貝查某囝。

真難得，阿爸竟然想出以音樂來洗盪這个白目的查某囝。

會記得彼工是一个烈炎天，伊雙手捧一台大洋琴，滿身重汗講：

「這是我共同事借的，彈看覓咧，聲音閣真好聽呢。」

耍較無一禮拜，我就講：

「這種琴，音傷簡單，我較佮意鋼琴。」

佇1960年代，鋼琴是貴重的討債物，我嘛知影家己是咧講耍的。以阿爸勤儉的習慣，是無可能為我買的。

但是只不過經過四個月爾，伊彼雙牽滿青筋的大手，提一包批囊佇我的面頭前晃呀晃，眞神祕按呢講：

「妳臆遮个錢是欲創啥物？」

「買鋼琴！」奇怪的是我攏無想就講出來。記憶內底阿爸從來毋捌予我失望過。

到今仔日每擺掀起琴蓋，彼雙牽滿青筋的手，總是浮現佇我的腦海中。

我真正予音樂洗盪心性，上起碼我袂閣鑽入無尾巷，因為定著練琴的時間加出來，嘛無允准我閣佇日時陷眠烏白亂亂想矣。

後來閣因為阿爸的催趕，愛我行上地毯的彼頭。囝婿位伊的雙手接過伊的查某囝，總算予伊完成一件上大的心事。

彼年我搬到五樓公寓，伊講欲幫我釘幾條細條椅頭仔，閒的時會當踮五樓頂遐納涼，厝裡彼爿有柴枋，拄好會使抾起來用。現此時的市面上，細條椅頭仔媠閣俗，但是我毋甘逆伊老大人的好意，我講我等侯伊的傑作。

無到兩日的時間，伊誠正做四寮，家己搬甲拼拼喘，來到我的五樓頂，我蹛的所在佮後頭厝干單隔一條街仔路爾爾。後生看看咧，倚佇我的耳空邊講：

「媽！阿公的椅頭仔無好坐，閣歹看。」

我共後生大大睨一下，了後斡過身對阿爸講：

「In攏講阿公足巧，會曉做遐呢勇的椅頭仔，通予阮享受。」

「嘿！嘿！我的工夫毋是咧臭彈的，想起當年風颱將咱兜的厝瓦吹走甲誠淒慘的時，終其尾，就是我比遐个土水師的手路，閣較勇、閣較在腹啦。」

是矣，阿爸！汝的雙手，位粗勇到老化，總是佮阮做夥佇咧。

Father’s Hands

Everything was tangible and secure when father appeared. But I recall this particular day was a disaster in my life. On that day I played by myself in the backyard and I climbed up to the top of a table with difficulty. While I was cheering on my success, a tall goose stretched his neck and opened his mouth to move in on me like a snake. Even though I was crying and screaming, he still stretched his neck around the table threatening me. We looked as if we were playing hide-and-seek. The sky was overcast with clouds and the rain was endless. At the very time I was trying to escape from the evil goose, a pair of strong hands suddenly held me. I was fiercely gripped in my father’s arms but I felt like I was embraced in a safe light.

“Don’t cry! My sweet heart! Dad has already thrown that awful animal out. I will kill him as soon as possible!” That evening I developed a severe fever. In my memory, a pair of sturdy hands held me tightly and we went to see the doctor…then and there. I think that without the powerful grip of my father’s hands, I couldn’t have had a sweet dream. Just by clinging instinctively to his arms I began to feel better then. That year, I was only five.

Every one at home relied on father’s helping hands to grow and to flourish naturally; otherwise, if we lost those hands, we would have been helpless and frail.

When I was 7 years young, we had a miserable day in my home. First, Dad was on the night shift, so Mom urged us to sit down to dinner, gave us our baths and then sent us to bed early because of a power failure. Without Father we felt the lack of his strong support.

That night when a loud pounding at the door rudely interrupted our dreams we wondered, “What is that?” I felt sure we were going to get into more trouble because of Mom’s nervousness and confusion. The terrible sound from the front door was almost deafening. Not long after that, the door latch was being hit with rough force; it was going to be broken at any moment. Luckily, Father had already made more bars to strengthen door.

When Mother rushed to the back door in a panic to ask a neighbor to rescue us, we all huddled together in fright. We looked like the main charactors of a horrible novel, who are worried about a robber that was about to rush through the door to kill us. Finally, the knocking stopped. At the same time, Mom was prostrate with exhaustion but she patted us softly, “The robber has been caught, we are safe now.” At last, Dad came home from work at daybreak and we finally felt safe and sound.

After that incident, Father attached more bars to the door for better security at night. His hands always acted for our safekeeping whether inside or outside. Our parents went from tenants to being landlords, a difficult time that depended on both our parents’ hard work. However, just when we had settled down, Mother passed away.

Although my brothers had gotten married and started careers, Father had never taken a rest because now he paid more attention to me. Not only did he need to overcome his grief for his spouse, but also he needed to console and solace his daughter. Surprisingly, he thought to use music to soothe my spirit. One sunny day, his hands sweatily carried a big “butterfly-qin” (Taiwanese stringed instrument) and said, “Try it out, it sounds pretty nice. I borrowed from one of my co-works.”

I played on it for just one week and responded, “This is boring, and I prefer the piano.” I knew the piano was an expensive item, particularly in 1960. I also recognized my frugal father couldn’t buy it. But after just four months, one day his brawny hands mysteriously waved an envelope in my face,

“Guess how we are going to spend this money.”

“I know it is for a piano!” I said straightforwardly because he never disappointed me.

After that, when I played the piano, my father’s blue-veined hands filled my brain all the time because I so appreciated what he had done for me. I was now truly disciplined in my music. The piano accompanied me through many days of wind and storm. And then I decided to accept the white picket fence. My father released his hands from me, so that his new son-in-law could accomplish his wish.

Now that I had moved to a fifth-floor apartment, my father wanted to use some old wood to make some stools for our balcony. In fact, there were many cheap stools in the market, but I couldn’t bear to pour cold water on my dear Dad’s enthusiasm. After two days, he made four pieces. My son whispered in my ear, “Grandpa’s stools are crummy.” I looked at him reproachfully, and turned to my father with a smile, “They all feel you are so versatile that we will enjoy your work.”

“Hey! Hey!” he replied. “I am not boasting about my handicrafts. I recall that when a typhoon blew up our roof tiles, I could actually do a better job of fixing them than the contractors.”

Yes! Father! Your hands, from strong to weak, are always with us!

[凃妙沂]

早安!後來我選那篇[秋日的三菱鏡]貼佇[南方的苦瓜寮],讀者的迴響誠趣味,妳去看看!
妳的散文愈讀愈入心,實在予我誠濟啟發,對於如何寫台語散文有誠大的幫助,感謝妳,認識妳是一種親像讀詩共款的滋味喔!

[李秀]

昨昏下晡去關懷會幫忙分便當予街民。落雨天土跤澹漉漉, 心情一爿歡喜會當出淡薄仔錢加時間來作這項代誌，一爿嘛眞鬱卒社會上閣有赫濟人無飯通食、無厝通徛…身心有一寡悿，轉到厝倒咧就睏去，睏到半暝十二點才起來翻一首莎士比亞的詩，翻了後準備欲睏，雄雄接著汝留言，自按呢，我閣開始無閑看汝的部落格…即馬巳經透早四點半了，我愛睏了, 但是我愛参汝講寡話。
我加意汝幫我的童詩選的書名「一欉小花蕊」, 汝，捌作為兒童版的主編！感謝了！
另外我的PChome的代誌，我已經揣著路了，但是想欲post資料, 攏出現系统繁忙, 請稍後再試。

[王立信]

李秀姐平安：
阿爸兮雙手 、一坵金光閃閃的花園、阿爸的雙手.三首已經錄音，近日鋪上請校閱。
其中文字為了口語化兮緣故有小可更動，請見諒。

阿爸兮雙手 作者李秀

拼出規身軀的氣力，終其尾予我peh起佇桌仔頂。當等我耍甲誠心適的時陣，雄雄一隻足大隻的鵝仔，頷頸 長 甲若蛇，一支尖嘴開甲大大大，ko----ko----向我嘮來，我着驚甲嗎嗎吼。這隻兇戒戒的鵝媽媽，並無因為我的哭聲來定著，煞顛倒愈雄勢，頷頸仔 伸甲長長長，位圓桌仔墘踅呀踅，直直綴著我。我假若苦命的囝兒淒慘落魄 佮伊咧走相趇。
親像跋落去坑崁仝款，孤單一人佮烏暗決鬥。當等這隻猙牲欲啄我幼嫩的皮肉兮時，雄雄一雙強閣有力的大手骨，將我抱起來，我拼死命掠牢這支光明閣安全的救命柱 一直哮…一直哮…
「乖！毋通哭矣，彼隻猙牲予阿爸趕走矣，明仔載共伊刣來食。」
彼一暗，我燒甲得欲40度。記智兮當中，猶原是彼雙粗勇的大手，共我抱起抱落，到「先生媽」遐收驚，嘛攏無啥效。囥踮眠床頂 我就拼死命哭，獨獨躺佇彼雙手股頂，我才睏會落眠。這場兮重病，就佇阿爸的雙手內底，才沓沓仔好起來。彼年我五歲。
厝裡的一點一滴，攏是靠阿爸的雙手來成長、勇壯。遮个點點滴滴，已經成做生活的一部份，親像當該然仝款。若是無這雙手，阮就像火車敗輦、跤步走精、一切的一切毋知欲按怎。
有一日，彼暗是阿爸當值的暗暝，阿母叫阮飯食飽、身軀洗好，佗較早去睏的，橫直無電火，嘛無法度寫功課，阿母番咐大兄共門窗閂予好勢，講阿爸無佇厝逐家愛較謹慎小心的。阿爸無佇咧，阮親像減一支大柱，假若規間厝隨時會搖起來兮款。
逐家睏甲當落眠，互一袸亂操操的聲音吵精神，我睇開矇霧的目睭，眼時前一片的烏暗。位阿母攬阮 佮伊緊張的聲調，阮感覺著有啥物歹空的代誌欲發生矣，藉著位窗仔門射入來的月光，阮看著頭前門的門閂，綴著外口 碰！碰！叫 兮聲音 起起落落咧搖動。
逐家即時間攏韾騖去 驚驚惶惶攪作一堆，親像恐怖小說的主角，煩惱歹人隨時會衝入來，阿母位後門溜出去，大概是欲向厝邊討救兵的款。
門閂夆激烈咧 舂，連邊有崩落的可能。若毋是阿爸特別佇頂下 加兩閂，恐驚兮早就離離落落 冗 去囉。
阿母親像出去足久足久兮，阮兄妹仔【絚絚】攬作一丸。連動嘛毋敢動，哼嘛毋敢哼，親像千萬尾兮蛇 鑽入去心肝窟仔。
撞擊的聲音 雄雄煞恬去，續落是一袸親像爆鼓筷走遠去兮跤步聲，然後看阿母沓沓仔唯門邊仔行入來，面色白損損，嘴唇一直掣 講：「歹...人...夆...掠...去...矣。」
歸家口仔真無簡單等到透早，阿爸轉來矣。
阿爸佇咧，厝裡加真安穩，阿母嘛較輕鬆。阿爸透暝共門 加裝幾仔組門閂。阿爸的雙手，就是阮的保障，無論佇有形的、抑是無形的，攏予阮這有種感覺。
一家口仔七个人，位稅厝徛，到有厝通稅人，彼段困苦的歲月，就是靠阿爸穩當的掌舵 閤參阿母的認真拍拼，才會當 將這個厝，穩篤篤 駛到安全四序的所在。
當等會使喘一下仔氣，享一下仔清福的時袸，阿母煞來過身。雖然兄哥in攏成家立業矣，但是對佇我，阿爸是真正著愛 加費一寡心思 來開導我。尤其是失去阿母彼袸的歹情緒，誠實無法度通忍受。伊不但愛 將失去家後 的悲痛收起來，閣愛特別照顧這个寶貝查某囝。
真難得，阿爸竟然想出用 音樂來洗盪這个白目的查某囝。
會記得彼工是一个烈炎天，伊雙手捧一台大洋琴，滿身軀重汗講：
「這是我共同事借的，彈看覓咧，聲音閣真好聽兮。」
耍較無一禮拜，我佗講：
「這種琴，音傷簡單，我較佮意鋼琴。」
佇1960年代，鋼琴是貴重的討債物，我嘛知影家己是咧講耍的。以阿爸勤儉的習慣，是無可能為我買的。
但是只不過則經過四月日爾，伊彼雙牽滿青筋的大手，提一包批囊佇我的面頭前晃呀晃，眞神祕按呢講：
「妳臆遮个錢是欲創啥物？」
「買鋼琴！」奇怪的是我攏無想 佗講出來。記憶內底阿爸從來毋捌予我失望過。
到今仔日每擺若掀起琴蓋，彼雙牽滿青筋的手，總是浮現佇我的腦海中。
我真正予音樂洗盪心性，上起碼我袂閣 鑽入無尾巷，因為定著練琴兮時間加出來，嘛無允准我閣佇日時 陷眠烏白亂亂想矣。後來閣因為阿爸的催趕，愛我行上地毯的彼頭。囝婿位伊的雙手接過伊的查某囝，總算予伊完成一件上大的心事。
彼年我搬到五樓兮公寓，伊講欲幫我釘幾寮仔細寮椅頭仔，閒的時會當踮五樓尾頂遐納涼，厝裡彼爿有柴 枋，拄仔好會使抾 起來用。現此時的市面上，細條椅頭仔 俗閣媠，但是我毋甘忤逆伊老大人的好意，我講我聽侯伊的傑作。
無到兩日的時間，伊誠實做四寮，家己搬甲拼拼喘，來到我的五樓頂，我蹛的所在佮後頭厝 干單隔一條街仔路爾爾。後生看看咧，倚佇我的耳空邊講：
「媽！阿公的椅頭仔無好坐，閣歹看。」
我共後生大大下睨一下目，了後斡過身對阿爸講：
「In攏講阿公足巧矣，會曉做遐呢勇的椅頭仔，通予阮來享受。」
「嘿！嘿！我的工夫毋是咧臭彈的，想起當年風颱將咱兜的厝瓦 吹走甲誠淒慘的時，終其尾，佗是我比遐个土水師的手路，閣較勇、閣較在腹啦。」

是矣，阿爸！汝的雙手，位粗勇到老化，總是佮阮做夥佇咧。

[李秀]

立信兄平安,
誠久無來這个網站了, 汝共我一粒愛四界觀光的蹉跎心，扭轉來矣。
感謝汝的用心，閣錄三篇，應該攏總有八篇了，會當作一塊CD囥佇冊內。
汝的聲音絕對豐富我的冊。

[李秀]

立信兄平安,
毋知汝錄音了無? 根據汝的修改, 参我家己配合英文的翻譯,
現此時我 posted 新的版本, 有淡薄仔修改.
如果汝若錄好矣, 嘛無要緊.

[王立信]

http://mymedia.yam.com/m/3198731